High on (someone else's) life!

It was always an interesting situation that I had arise from the depth of my school days. I didn't have a lot of friends, though early on it was tough not to. People just gathered together and the people they talked to at recess or during lunch break were their friends. The one thing I remember about my late years in elementary school was that 90% of my 'friends' were girls. And they loved to talk to me about their problems.

I don't have any idea how it started. My class would have been filled with mathematical, scientific, artistic and literary geniuses. Some of them had no problem picking up French, going to city-wide geography competitions and had expansive projects during science. Yet I always seemed to be steady, mature and completely entrenched in hard logic.

When I got older and I met the 'normal' kids, I just got everything, intellectually. I looked like a genius, even if I didn't know all that much. They wanted me to solve problems and give opinions.

This really shone through during my highschool years. People have to make decisions about you at first glance, after all. I didn't want to talk to anyone in class, I asked questions to the teacher afterwards as if I was equal to them, and I was able to keep to myself and read during any break. The only people who I saw most often were the ones that had problems. Often girls. It figures with my luck in life that I'd attract the most troubled girls who just wanted to talk to me to make themselves feel better. I was like the psychologist for the school. By the time I was in my last year, people suffering from life issues and depression were referred to me. It was like having advertisements around the school.

So I talked to a lot of people. I'd like to think that I helped some of them. People would still come to me to ask what I thought about all kinds of things. Legalization of marijuana, political issues, religious issues. Whatever. I was even interviewed for a small-scale school newspaper. I held no position in the school except for being some kind of incredible logical genius who absolutely hated the school.

Anyway.

I've slowly started to realise that I really enjoy hearing things about people. Nice things, bad things, life-threatening things, dirty things - It doesn't matter. I don't get the feeling that I'm living vicariously though others so much as I'm watching stories unfold. They're not always interesting, my life story certainly isn't, but I really get connected to people and want to hear more and more, and I want to help them be happy.

Sometimes I hear about something kind of creepy and kind of weird, but it's all worth a laugh. I'm not going to come down on someone like a ton of bricks just because they're saying something strange.

Sometimes I hear things that really put me in a corner. I get connected to people and I don't want to tell them my truth. I won't lie to them about the facts as I see it, but it's hard telling someone when they need to better understand what they're trying to follow. Nothing is ever completely right, and that means that sometimes certain things are wrong.

Sometimes, I get so sick of hearing about a person's problems. The only thing I can't stand is when things are going well and someone has to throw a wrench into their own life just to bitch. Worse yet, when they decide that acting vapid and shallow is a response to important moments in their life that mean lots of responsibility.

Sometimes, I hear things from a person and talk back to them, and I feel closer to them. Just knowing them and relating back, it's a real high for me.

I'm in a really good mood today, and it's because I love being close with friends and getting to hear about them. It's even better online, because I can meet people who can be comfortable with me without their secrets ever having a chance of getting spread. Maybe this is just my addiction, or my personal misunderstanding of what a friendship is. All I know is that it makes me happy, it makes me sad, and it makes me feel needed.

That's all for today. I'll probably actually DO something this weekend, so maybe I'll have something interesting to chat about. That is all.