Just a little update on how things are going.
I've spent a couple of days reading the blog of a very interesting blogger. I won't go into details right now, and I'd rather not send the two people I'm sure read this over there. Reading some of her material though is very... Enlightening. In a way, I guess.
Also, tomorrow I'm going to be going out to lunch with other graduates from my class. So, that's bound to be interesting to some degree. The biggest challenge will be making it down there in time for lunch. I'm not really a morning person and with my parents out the house is basically silent until the afternoon unless I get up early. So wish me luck.
I was thinking about writing a few things that are a little revealing and pretty depressing for myself, but I'm not quite sure of if I should bother again. This technically being my second blog, I'd like to try to escape from the ranting and bitching that was predominant on the first one. It also has a lot to do with the past, something I'd be a little happier to leave there.
Anyway, I hope all of you are without insomnia and doing well. That's all for this update.
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
High on (someone else's) life!
It was always an interesting situation that I had arise from the depth of my school days. I didn't have a lot of friends, though early on it was tough not to. People just gathered together and the people they talked to at recess or during lunch break were their friends. The one thing I remember about my late years in elementary school was that 90% of my 'friends' were girls. And they loved to talk to me about their problems.
I don't have any idea how it started. My class would have been filled with mathematical, scientific, artistic and literary geniuses. Some of them had no problem picking up French, going to city-wide geography competitions and had expansive projects during science. Yet I always seemed to be steady, mature and completely entrenched in hard logic.
When I got older and I met the 'normal' kids, I just got everything, intellectually. I looked like a genius, even if I didn't know all that much. They wanted me to solve problems and give opinions.
This really shone through during my highschool years. People have to make decisions about you at first glance, after all. I didn't want to talk to anyone in class, I asked questions to the teacher afterwards as if I was equal to them, and I was able to keep to myself and read during any break. The only people who I saw most often were the ones that had problems. Often girls. It figures with my luck in life that I'd attract the most troubled girls who just wanted to talk to me to make themselves feel better. I was like the psychologist for the school. By the time I was in my last year, people suffering from life issues and depression were referred to me. It was like having advertisements around the school.
So I talked to a lot of people. I'd like to think that I helped some of them. People would still come to me to ask what I thought about all kinds of things. Legalization of marijuana, political issues, religious issues. Whatever. I was even interviewed for a small-scale school newspaper. I held no position in the school except for being some kind of incredible logical genius who absolutely hated the school.
Anyway.
I've slowly started to realise that I really enjoy hearing things about people. Nice things, bad things, life-threatening things, dirty things - It doesn't matter. I don't get the feeling that I'm living vicariously though others so much as I'm watching stories unfold. They're not always interesting, my life story certainly isn't, but I really get connected to people and want to hear more and more, and I want to help them be happy.
Sometimes I hear about something kind of creepy and kind of weird, but it's all worth a laugh. I'm not going to come down on someone like a ton of bricks just because they're saying something strange.
Sometimes I hear things that really put me in a corner. I get connected to people and I don't want to tell them my truth. I won't lie to them about the facts as I see it, but it's hard telling someone when they need to better understand what they're trying to follow. Nothing is ever completely right, and that means that sometimes certain things are wrong.
Sometimes, I get so sick of hearing about a person's problems. The only thing I can't stand is when things are going well and someone has to throw a wrench into their own life just to bitch. Worse yet, when they decide that acting vapid and shallow is a response to important moments in their life that mean lots of responsibility.
Sometimes, I hear things from a person and talk back to them, and I feel closer to them. Just knowing them and relating back, it's a real high for me.
I'm in a really good mood today, and it's because I love being close with friends and getting to hear about them. It's even better online, because I can meet people who can be comfortable with me without their secrets ever having a chance of getting spread. Maybe this is just my addiction, or my personal misunderstanding of what a friendship is. All I know is that it makes me happy, it makes me sad, and it makes me feel needed.
That's all for today. I'll probably actually DO something this weekend, so maybe I'll have something interesting to chat about. That is all.
I don't have any idea how it started. My class would have been filled with mathematical, scientific, artistic and literary geniuses. Some of them had no problem picking up French, going to city-wide geography competitions and had expansive projects during science. Yet I always seemed to be steady, mature and completely entrenched in hard logic.
When I got older and I met the 'normal' kids, I just got everything, intellectually. I looked like a genius, even if I didn't know all that much. They wanted me to solve problems and give opinions.
This really shone through during my highschool years. People have to make decisions about you at first glance, after all. I didn't want to talk to anyone in class, I asked questions to the teacher afterwards as if I was equal to them, and I was able to keep to myself and read during any break. The only people who I saw most often were the ones that had problems. Often girls. It figures with my luck in life that I'd attract the most troubled girls who just wanted to talk to me to make themselves feel better. I was like the psychologist for the school. By the time I was in my last year, people suffering from life issues and depression were referred to me. It was like having advertisements around the school.
So I talked to a lot of people. I'd like to think that I helped some of them. People would still come to me to ask what I thought about all kinds of things. Legalization of marijuana, political issues, religious issues. Whatever. I was even interviewed for a small-scale school newspaper. I held no position in the school except for being some kind of incredible logical genius who absolutely hated the school.
Anyway.
I've slowly started to realise that I really enjoy hearing things about people. Nice things, bad things, life-threatening things, dirty things - It doesn't matter. I don't get the feeling that I'm living vicariously though others so much as I'm watching stories unfold. They're not always interesting, my life story certainly isn't, but I really get connected to people and want to hear more and more, and I want to help them be happy.
Sometimes I hear about something kind of creepy and kind of weird, but it's all worth a laugh. I'm not going to come down on someone like a ton of bricks just because they're saying something strange.
Sometimes I hear things that really put me in a corner. I get connected to people and I don't want to tell them my truth. I won't lie to them about the facts as I see it, but it's hard telling someone when they need to better understand what they're trying to follow. Nothing is ever completely right, and that means that sometimes certain things are wrong.
Sometimes, I get so sick of hearing about a person's problems. The only thing I can't stand is when things are going well and someone has to throw a wrench into their own life just to bitch. Worse yet, when they decide that acting vapid and shallow is a response to important moments in their life that mean lots of responsibility.
Sometimes, I hear things from a person and talk back to them, and I feel closer to them. Just knowing them and relating back, it's a real high for me.
I'm in a really good mood today, and it's because I love being close with friends and getting to hear about them. It's even better online, because I can meet people who can be comfortable with me without their secrets ever having a chance of getting spread. Maybe this is just my addiction, or my personal misunderstanding of what a friendship is. All I know is that it makes me happy, it makes me sad, and it makes me feel needed.
That's all for today. I'll probably actually DO something this weekend, so maybe I'll have something interesting to chat about. That is all.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Legos!
That's right, for whatever reason I had the urge today to go and find my big bin of lego and play around for a while. I used basically every 2x4 block and some mountain-side pieces to build a prison which I then stored intact.
It's funny going back through all of the stuff we have stored. I found a box of some of my old schoolwork, including a booklet from the early 90s where I guess I was asked to answer questions. It had some really interesting points in there. When asked who I could meet, if anyone ever, I joked about meeting Elvis or the Aliens who captured him, and then said that I'd speak to Princess Diana to ask her about using her position of power to help the needy and earning a whole new degree of celebrity.
When asked what I thought was the biggest problem in the world, I answered, plain-faced: People.
Man, what a crazy little kid I was. I should really post all of those things up to try and get a little view into my development into the jaded and angry individual I am today.
My brother came to look too, and he really liked checking out the old mecha toys and other playthings we have stored away.
Oh! And I found a bunch of Marvel cards (Before everything had CCGs) and a bunch of my original Pog collection! My slammers are still mint!
Oh damn. I think I just spilled nerd all over my keyboard...
Anyway, it's damned hot out today, and tomorrow is worse. For whatever reason I'm blessed with a high overall body temperature, which is nice in the winter but not when it's 30 and humid.
That's all for tonight. Getting to sleep has been a trial all week with this weather.
It's funny going back through all of the stuff we have stored. I found a box of some of my old schoolwork, including a booklet from the early 90s where I guess I was asked to answer questions. It had some really interesting points in there. When asked who I could meet, if anyone ever, I joked about meeting Elvis or the Aliens who captured him, and then said that I'd speak to Princess Diana to ask her about using her position of power to help the needy and earning a whole new degree of celebrity.
When asked what I thought was the biggest problem in the world, I answered, plain-faced: People.
Man, what a crazy little kid I was. I should really post all of those things up to try and get a little view into my development into the jaded and angry individual I am today.
My brother came to look too, and he really liked checking out the old mecha toys and other playthings we have stored away.
Oh! And I found a bunch of Marvel cards (Before everything had CCGs) and a bunch of my original Pog collection! My slammers are still mint!
Oh damn. I think I just spilled nerd all over my keyboard...
Anyway, it's damned hot out today, and tomorrow is worse. For whatever reason I'm blessed with a high overall body temperature, which is nice in the winter but not when it's 30 and humid.
That's all for tonight. Getting to sleep has been a trial all week with this weather.
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